he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
She just used a chaser for red wine.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
