I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize