Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
