Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize