Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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