so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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