i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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