I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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