My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
