Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
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I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
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How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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