If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
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We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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