Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
