Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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