Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
