alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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