I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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