theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize