Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
