As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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