i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
