then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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