Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
