I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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