and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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