Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
