If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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