We're facebook friends in real life
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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