I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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