Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
