i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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