HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize