Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize