i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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