Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
