Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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