On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
