tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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