Soap is not a condiment
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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