I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
