Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
