I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize