Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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