i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
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If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
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I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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