Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
