chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
