My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
