Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well I just put wine in my tea
BRING THE BAGELS
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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