Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize