I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
