I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
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I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
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I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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