Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
