brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
