So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
