your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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