wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
