And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
