if i can run in heels then i can drive
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
