Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
