What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
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you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
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Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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