i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
