just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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