he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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