so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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