OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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