While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
