why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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